Piranha 3DD Movie Review
2012, directed by John Gulager
Reviewed by Tim. S
|When your film's only redeeming quality is gratuitous toplessness, you're in trouble|
|A sequel to Piranha 3D? Great Scott!|
|Getting people wet is hard work when it's not the wet season|
The other plot point about piranhas entering the pool through a well pump also makes no sense; any pump of industrial capacity would be fitted with numerous filters, as you’d be collecting much more than just water- what about all the earth matter that’d get sucked through the system? It’d clog and stop working pretty damn quick without some kind of filtration system, but of course being that logical would ruin the entire premise of the film.
|Sadly they don't look much better than they did in the first film either|
I’m not fazed by blood spraying everywhere, or giant bouncing breasts filling the screen, as long as there’s at least a semi plausible reason as to why it’s all happening. Rambo (2008) was one of the most graphically violent films of recent years, and for good reason- the film is a war movie illustrating the horrors of life under the crushing iron fist of the Burmese military junta. We don’t watch that movie expecting a nice, sanitized cakewalk. We know going into it that we’re going to see some of the most disturbing, anatomically accurate dismemberment and disembowelment that cinema can bring, for the purposes of illustrating the ongoing problems in Myanmar.
|This publication is not set to 18+ so some of these picturess are censored. But you all have imaginations anyway.|
|Boobs. Your argument is invalid|
|A little late for CPR, buddy.|
|This picture actually sums up the movie if you think about it. Or don't.|
|Decapitation's never been funnier.|
Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames) returns from the first film, as does the camera man from the pornography set. However they only receive a minor role. It was great to see some returning cast from the first film, though it would have been far more poignant to follow their journey, both through the psychological trauma following the events of the first film, and what brings them back to the scene of the unfolding chaos. However, I think I’m giving this reboot franchise too much credit for potential character development, especially with a title like ‘Piranha 3DD’, Gulager’s clearly not a stickler for subtlety.